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Necessary conversations

Letter to the Editor

Published: Sunday, March 6, 2011

Updated: Sunday, March 6, 2011 21:03

After watching the performance of Loyal Daughters and Sons on Thursday, I was stunned. Not by what I had seen — I know the horrors of sexual assault at Notre Dame only too well — but by the fact that afterwards no one was talking. After it ended everyone was either silent or started talking about more light-hearted subjects like their plans for the evening. If one in four college women are subjected to sexual assault, this means that over 1,000 women currently at Notre Dame have experienced it. How are we not talking about this?

There's been a lot of focus on Saint Mary's recently and I can only imagine what kind of victimization our sisters across the lake experience when they are openly demeaned and labeled as "dumb and easy" by Notre Dame guys. We have events like Loyal Daughters and Sons and Sexual Assault Awareness Week to promote dialogue about this issue, but nobody is talking. I think what we need is to start a conversation.

I'll volunteer to speak first: I am one of the thousand women at Notre Dame who has suffered sexual assault. Twice. On Notre Dame's campus.

There, I've started the conversation; now I expect some sort of response in the form of both conversations and Viewpoints. To those of you who know me, please don't awkwardly say nothing and pretend that you didn't read The Observer — when you see me, let's talk about this. To Notre Dame guys, I not only expect you to listen carefully to women's complaints about this issue, to listen and respect when they say "no," but to join in the conversation and start discussing why this is happening.

If a thousand women at Notre Dame suffer sexual assault, how many guys are perpetrators? Ladies, why aren't we talking more about this subject that affects us so profoundly even with each other? Sexual assault is often blamed on binge drinking or the hookup culture, but that still doesn't explain why we engage in those behaviors to begin with. Let's speak up and speak loud. Let's start talking.

Shea Streeter

senior

Badin Hall

Mar. 6

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5 comments

nd
Tue Mar 8 2011 22:43
We need to bring those who commit sexual assault in the Notre Dame and surrounding South Bend community to light and make sure that others are not harmed by their patterns of abuse. To those who think sexual assault isn't a big deal, think again-it impacts more people than you know: your friends, your classmates, your dorm-mates, and both men and women. Talk about it, let others know. It's not alright, and it's not a secret worth hiding.
nd
Tue Mar 8 2011 22:36
I attended the performance and spoke with my bf afterwards about it as we were walking to the car. Some of the psychological roots for sexual assault are a lack of maturity and compassion for other human beings. If members of this community cannot respect each other as fellow human beings, especially when it comes to sex, then they need to learn how to do so, and quickly. Attitudes need to change. Expectations and comfort levels are different between others. I also have been a victim of sexual assault by an IUSB student; it happens, it's real-and the consequences are lifelong for those who are assaulted.
MC123
Tue Mar 8 2011 12:58
Although I do not know you personally, thank you Shea. You have given me hope in the Notre Dame and Saint Mary's community. I have not been a victim, but I personally know too many students at both Notre Dame and Saint Mary's who have been victims of sexual assault. It is time to break the silence and to fight for what is right. Since Notre Dame is "Our Lady's University", let's fight for Her and for all victims of sexual assault. I am a student at Saint Mary's and I have been horrified by the silence on this issue. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your bravery.
Spudsy
Mon Mar 7 2011 21:55
Fantastic letter, Shea Streeter. I applaud your courage in writing it. For me, the most compelling point you raised was with regard to the perpetrators. If there are 1000 victims, how many offenders are there? Is it more troubling to imagine 1000 unique offenders or fewer repeat offenders? Awareness of sexual assault and support for its victims is important, but when do we raise our voices to demand retribution for the perpetrators? The first step is to report the crime....speak up women!
Meg Otten
Mon Mar 7 2011 13:31
Thank you, Shea, for bravely speaking against this problem that exists on not only the Notre Dame campus, but on college campuses every where. As a Saint Mary's student, I too have suffered greatly as a victim of sexual assault. You have started this conversation with the correct question. If a thousand women at Notre Dame suffer sexual assault, how many college men are perpetrators? This is a question that is typically overlooked, focusing on the victims instead and their "risky" behaviors. Why aren't the misbehaviors of the perpetrators ever discussed? Sexual assault victims are the persons who say "no" and try to leave an unwanted sexual encounter. Whereas, the perpetrators are the persons who continue make sexual advances anyways. Why is this happening? Thank you for beginning this needed conversation.






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