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Friday, June 21, 2024
The Observer

Bookstore Basketball: Team names highlight this year's tournament

The 36th annual Bookstore Basketball tournament tips off today with 45 first-round contests. No doubt, the Bookstore Committee had its hands full censoring and eliminating the humor from the 652 teams participating in this year's event, but some slightly humorous team names managed to make the final cut.

Though none rises to the level of last year's "We Shoot Like Dick Cheney, (You Should Wear Orange)," here are some of the best Bookstore names for 2007:

(Note: You get bonus points for referencing my favorite TV shows or anything relating to Steve Carell)

uYeah Poop: Simple, yet effective.

uThat's What She Said (3 teams): Hopefully, nobody has to pull out early.

uIf We Lose, the Terrorists Win: Valid point ... by philosophy's standards.

uHannah's Storm: For Hannah's sake, let's hope this isn't the extent of her cultural influence.

uWe're Just Here for the Butt Slapping: You guys from Zahm?

uBill Raftery's MANTAMAN Principles: Extra points for referencing my favorite basketball analyst.

uCroissantWorld (Because We Suck), We're as Bad as Black Dog: These got the biggest laughs when my friends read the list of teams.

uSenior A&L Majors Closer to Winning Than Finding Jobs: Probably the truth.

uWhich Four of Us Sleep Together?: The most blatantly sexual name to get by the censors.

uEven Pete Rose wouldn't put money on us: Neither would I.

uColbert's Eaglets: Have you guys seen Stephen Jr. recently?

uGreg Oden's Raven, Brick Tamland's Loud Noises, I love lamp: Points for referencing Steve Carell and "Anchorman."

uFact: We Are Faster than 80% of all snakes, Dunder Mifflin: I live just outside of Scranton, Pa., so it's mandatory that I love "The Office."

uDr. Funke's 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution (two teams) : All "Arrested Development" fans must do all they can to keep the memory of one of the best show's of all time alive.

uThat's a Bad Newbie: See above. Even though it is still on the air, "Scrubs" joins "Arrested Development" as one of the most under-appreciated shows of all-time.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

Contact Chris Hine at