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Monday, March 30, 2026
The Observer

Being frank about franks

It's come to my attention the price of "midnight dogs" went up to a third of a dollar from a quarter of a dollar. I'm sure the extra eight cents extracted from students' pockets will really turn things around. While it's not clear why business is languishing, whether due to a great hot dog shortage or packer strike, it is clear LaFortune needs more money. But why stop there? As a firm believer in fractions, I would like to point out the new cost of "midnight dogs" is actually 33 1/3 cents. Splitting pennies into thirds would yield an extra cent for every three individual purchases. Think about that 20 years from now! True, some startup costs may be required; maybe the very best in copper cutting technology and a license from the federal government. But in time — say, the next 20 years — it will all pay for itself! After all, a penny shaved is a penny earned.

John McKissick

sophomore

Dillon Hall

Aug. 30


The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.