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Monday, April 29, 2024
The Observer

Twitter Nation

Looking for a mode of procrastination? As if the world doesn't know enough about the lives of their favorite celebrities, Twitter offers one more stalking tool for avid fans of movies, music, television and even politics. Oddly enough, Twitter requires agency of the celebrity. They can "tweet" for publicity, to complain or to entertain with absolute nonsense. Here's a handful of notorious celeb tweeters and some examples of their best use of 140 characters:

Kanye West

Though it took him a while to catch on to the Twitter craze, Kanye West is easily one of the most talked-about tweeters. He follows 0 people (he tried to follow one teen from the UK, who did not welcome the media frenzy that ensued). He tweets constantly, sometimes with a tone of narcissism, always with a hint of crazy.

@kanyewest: You have to balance ignorance with intellect! Can't have school with out recess! #Greatesttweetofalltime

@kanyewest: I've finally realized as long as you use profanity when you talk about art and fashion it's better accepted!!!

@kanyewest: This is rock and roll life my people... you can't stop the truth you can't stop the music and I have to be strong or "they" win!!!!

@kanyewest: Everything sounds like noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE NOISE!!!!!!! I don't trust anyone!

@kanyewest: I am a creative person.... I'm not a good celebrity but I'm a great artist... I'm tired of using my celebrity to sell my art.

@kanyewest: Sometimes I get the usage of puns and double en- tundras mixed up. I know sometimes one thing can be both. Rap God issues!!! LOL!!!!

Hip Hop Artists, continued

Other hip hop artists hot on the Twitter scene are 50 Cent and P. Diddy. It seems neither of these two know what to tweet about, but they do it constantly, so 50 posts gibberish and Diddy pulls pranks (he's not married or a vegan, just felt like tweeting it).

@50cent: this is funny smack me so i can eat

@iamdiddy:  I decided to get Married today!!! I feel like a new man! Wedding is planned for valentines day!!! Your all welcome!! Feb 14th. Let's go!

@iamdiddy: I also became vegan today!!!! :)

Jimmy Fallon

Fallon is the king of hashtags. For those who don't tweet, a hashtag is preceded by a "#" sign and is used to create real time record of groups on Twitter. In addition to #FallonMono, which is attached to any uniquely Fallon proclamation, he has began several hashtags that have become worldwide trends on Twitter.

@jimmyfallon: Three urinals and you take the middle one? #SLAPYOURSELF

@jimmyfallon: Guy asking me where the wine is. Dude, this a STOP & SHOP. #awwhellno

@jimmyfallon: If Mt. Rushmore was animatronic and sang songs like the Country Bear Jamboree. #thatwouldbeawesome

@jimmyfallon: That the two remaining Beatles would reunite and sing the theme song to "Full House." #ifihadonewish

@jimmyfallon: I just want to say happy birthday to reality star Heidi Montag! Today, parts of her turned 24! #FallonMono

Conan O'Brien

Another late night talk show host has a knack for Tweeting. This witty redhead, unlike most celebs, refrains from plugging his show constantly and demonstrates his comedic talent in the most modern way possible: the sarcastic tweet.

@ConanOBrien: Just found out my new show is not on in Finland. What the hell is President Obama doing with his time? #EläköönSuomi

@ConanOBrien: Rmbr – dooont Twet whljik you driv. It is dngrou7s

Lindsay Lohan

Is she in jail? Is she in rehab? Is she shooting a movie? The world doesn't know, because this girl is on a Twitter hiatus. But when she was tweeting regularly, she did so with brutal honesty. Thanks for keeping us posted, Lindsay!

@lindsaylohan: This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I'm prepared to face the consequences.

@lindsaylohan: Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result.

Russell Brand

Unfortunately his best Twitter work cannot be published due to Brand's word choice, but here are a few treats of his tweet legacy.

@rustyrockets: When I heard that Coldplay were covering my song "Bangers, Beans and Mash" I wet myself — and it was all yellow.

@rustyrockets: I am about to have a medical examination and have eradicated body hair I'm like a Benjamin Button Justin Bieber.