Leave the gaggle alone

I am a dog person, a dog person through and through. I am also from Berkeley, California. I was born there and even stayed as an undergrad. Berkeley is an interesting place where people are always ready to unleash a barrage of hashtags and organized protests over the latest and greatest social justice warrior cause. Due to spending my undergrad years in Berkeley and never experiencing a real winter, this month has been my first exposure to Canada Goose jackets. My first impulse when I saw a fellow student wearing a Canada Goose jacket was to step back and wait for a PETA protestor to start throwing red paint but then I realized I wasn’t in Berkeley anymore.

Canada Goose of course uses fur from coyotes to add a little stylish trim to the hoods of their jackets. But I am not here to pass judgment or condemn those wearing them; it’s not their fault. I am here, however, to pass judgment on cat people. Because no dog person could ever look at the images of a coyotes struggling in leg traps for hours and days on end and then purchase a Canada Goose jacket. So to everyone on campus with a Canada Goose jacket, I am sorry your crazy cat lady aunt bought you that jacket for Christmas and is forcing you to wear it.

And to those that might assume I am just a granola-eating, hippie from Berkeley — you are wrong. I am the proud nephew of my Uncle Sam and simply doing my patriotic duty to rid this beautiful campus from an invasion of trendy, overpriced Canadian coats.