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Thursday, May 23, 2024
The Observer

Everything is never as it seems

One night, as I was lying in bed falling asleep, listening to my favorite song on repeat, I took some time to reflect on the lyrics.

“You would not believe your eyes, if 10 million fireflies, lit up the world as I fell asleep.”

And you truly would not believe your eyes. But then I thought: Are the bugs crying?

“They’d fill up the open air, and leave teardrops everywhere.”

A bit disconcerting. Can bugs even cry?

Another question: Just how many lightning hugs did Owl City receive from the lightning bugs. He claims “I’d get a thousand hugs, from 10,000 lightning bugs.”

Are only 10 percent of the lightning bugs giving hugs? Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is each bug giving him 1,000 hugs, totalling a whopping 10 million hugs? To make matters more complex, lightning bugs have six legs — do our insect friends hug with only two legs, or with all six? Would the latter alternative add up to three hugs per bug, and are these included in his calculations? I may be a history major but you can check that math.

Moving on, how does a firefly perform a foxtrot? Can fireflies cross the animal kingdom to assume the persona of a fox in order to teach a mere man to dance? Or a sock hop? What is a sock hop anyways? I doubt all six of those little legs are wearing socks. And why, may I ask, is there a disco ball? The foxtrot and the sock hop are traditional dances that precede the disco ball.

Finally, who is in charge here? The lightning bugs seem to be the free visitors, coming to teach Owl City things such as dancing. Yet he has mercilessly trapped them as his prisoners: “I saved a few and I keep them in a jar (jar, jar, jar).”

Did he even create air holes in the jar? What kind of friend would trap his companions in such a stifling environment?

Needless to say, I did not fall asleep to the soothing tune because the pressing questions kept me awake. And I still cannot believe my eyes.

This has been an official song review from an Observer Scene Writer.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.