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Wednesday, May 29, 2024
The Observer

2021 Hall of the Year power rankings

As many of you know, recent administration policies have deemed students living off campus will soon no longer be able to take part in some activities in their dorm communities. I support these decisions fully — the administration could never err, and suggesting anything otherwise is utterly ridiculous. Those who make such accusations should be forced to take public accountability for their decision-making process.

While this may change the structure of the communities students have in the dorms, it will not change the entire community of Notre Dame. And what is more central to the Notre Dame community than dorm life itself?

Notre Dame has often stressed that by living in community and doing extra-curricular activities together we all grow to be the best versions of ourselves. According to Residential Life, dorm life is beneficial because of the “framework it offers to all students who experience it, especially in the areas of community building, leadership development and faith and human formation.” As such an integral part of the Notre Dame experience, it would not be within the University’s standards to leave off-campus students without a dorm community. Of course, as you know, the University never does anything that acts against its standards or values. And if you disagree with this, then you’ve got an angry, awkwardly worded 800-word Observer column coming at you in 1-2 weeks, buddy.

Therefore, Notre Dame will have no choice but to create an off-campus dorm community. If you look now, you can already see the steps pushing them towards this action. The Off Campus Council is already making preparations to hold an off-campus formal, the first of several steps to form this dorm. It is only a matter of time until off-campus interhall sports teams are formed and students begin using, in the words of Residential Life, their “personality and talents to enhance their hall’s distinctive identity, and in turn, continue Notre Dame’s legendary residential life tradition.”

Of course, as the University’s new policies will only go into effect for current sophomores, they cannot make this announcement yet. Off-campus seniors are still, at this point, allowed to go to dances, participate in interhall sports and take part in the service events of the communities they spent three years contributing to.

But change is coming. Fast. And it is very important that Notre Dame students be ready for this. Why is this important? Use your brain! Think about the Hall of the Year award, the defining moment of every single person’s Notre Dame experience. My dorm won Hall of the Year my sophomore year, and let me tell you, it was the greatest experience of my life. We did not win it again my junior year, and I haven’t been happy since. I have since accepted the fact that I have peaked, and that I will never feel such pure elation again in my life.

As such, I have taken it upon myself to rank the prospective candidates for Hall of the Year in 2021, the first year that the Duncan-O’Neil-DeBartolo — insert other donor name here — off-campus hall will be opened. I feel it is my responsibility to put every other dorm on notice their window of opportunity is closing.

Think about interhall sports. That off-campus team would be absolutely unstoppable. With a majority of the senior class, who would likely all be veterans of their interhall sports teams they played three years on, they would have the cream-of-the-crop talent. Not to mention that every other dorm would now be lacking the experience and leadership usually supplied by off-campus students contributing to their own teams.

Does this affect Hall of the Year voting? I don’t know, probably (what did you expect me to do for this column, research?) But think of the service events, which also probably effect Hall of the Year voting, the off-campus dorm would be legendary. They would need, like, $2 from every student to have the best Thanksgiving food drive in the history of this school. Same thing for Christmas.

So here they are. Please look at these rankings for the 2021 Hall of the Year award, and double your efforts to go and win in this year or the next. You have officially been put on notice.

1.     Off-Campus Dorm

2.     Sorin (You know what, they’re going to bind together and find a way to compete in 2021. They’ve got a lot of young talent, a good farm system in the suburbs of Chicago, and excellent leadership. I like Sorin going forward.)

3.     – 31 Everyone else.

So there you have it. The window is closing. Take note.

Danny McMaster is a senior business analytics major, and has never once been wrong in his entire life. He can be reached at dmcmaste@nd.eduor @DanMcMaster14 on Twitter.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.