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Sunday, Sept. 1, 2024
The Observer

Spooky choose your own adventure

It’s that time of year folks. It’s costume time, and I’m here to be of help to you all. I have painstakingly broken down every Halloween costume into its own category. So, if you’re struggling to pick a costume to impress — or not — this year, read on to choose your own costume adventure. 

Let’s start with the most obvious. 

 

If you’re lazy and it’s last minute… 

Animals

This category can go a variety of ways — the obvious and stereotypical “sexy cat” costume is fairly easy to put together, or you can go all out with some sort of full-body animal suit. To be original, pick an animal not often seen in the jungle of Halloween. Like maybe a platypus. You know, they’re the only mammals to lay eggs — very spooky.

 

If you want to show everyone your potential career path AND prove you didn’t do this completely last minute…

Public Servants/Professionals/Students

Here come the lifesavers! In this category, the firefighters, police officers, school girls, medical professionals and even clowns come to play. Hey, I’m guilty of putting on a firefighter hat once or twice too, so there’s no shame.

 

If you’re a die-hard Marvel or DC fan, or just happen to own a lot of black… 

Superheroes

With about one million superhero movies coming out every year, this one is unavoidable. You can easily find a superhero t-shirt in most stores, but it doesn’t have to be a lazy costume. Plenty of hardworking men and women are slipping into Wonder Women and Supermen costumes that go the whole nine yards, tights included. Everyone should pull off a superhero costume once or twice in their life, even if it’s just wearing all black and cat ears and calling yourself Catwoman. 

 

If you and your friends want to throw together a group costume or you just watch a lot of Disney…

Disney/Cartoon/TV and Movie Characters

I’m just going to lump these all in one. All the Monsters Inc. characters, Elsas and Annas, Powerpuff Girls, Kim Possibles and “Clueless” characters can all finally be together. Confession: I have definitely dressed up as two of these before, and I’m not ashamed of it. Anyone can pull off a Disney or cartoon character on short notice, and it is certainly helped by the fact that most cartoons involve characters wearing the same outfit every episode. 

 

If you’re really hungry and that candy just won’t do…

Food Items

Now things are starting to get wild. Whether you’re a baby dressed as a cute pumpkin or a 21-year-old college student dressed as a White Claw that is desperately hoping to escape the national shortage, the food category is always a fun one. More points for creativity, of course.

 

If you think you’re *quirky* and are up-to-date on pop culture but also strapped for time… 

A Famous Person/Meme

This is any celebrity, really, but it also includes memes or people whose lives have gone viral. Remember Alex from Target? Unfortunately, I do. What about Arthur, with his classic closed fist? Miley Cyrus à la “Bangerz” era? Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton? Or any actual celebrity you may look a tiny bit like.

 

If you’re reaching the end of your rope and just want something creative to throw on to go to that party….

Mythical Creatures

Ah, a classic. Yes, I’m including those angels and devils in this category. You too, fairies and any kind of monsters. Honestly, throw anything scary-looking on and call yourself a creature.

 

If you’re athletic or know about sports and want to prove it… 

Sports

People dressing up as boxers or umpires, this one’s for you.

 

If I missed any categories, feel free to let me know. Even better, prove your originality and go off-script this year.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.