Today, Valentine’s Day, is probably one of the hardest days to be single, especially on a campus like ours, where everyone seems to be either in an amazing relationship or almost there. All the couples walking around hand in hand, holding gifts and posting about how much they love each other become inescapable reminders of our singleness, which often leads to the question, “am I the only one who has nothing going on in my love life?” And I, as a fellow single with no prospects whatsoever of a relationship, am here to tell you that you are not the only one, and, as cliche as it sounds, it’s okay. In fact, that’s something I learned firsthand last year.
It all started when I decided to invite the boy I had a major crush on to a formal. Little did I know, it would turn out to be one of the worst nights of my time at Notre Dame. Not a single thing went right that night. He acted as if he came completely alone to the formal, flirted with several other girls and the only time he talked to me was to ask if he should walk up to another girl he met elsewhere. I had never felt that ugly and unseen my entire life, and it was all made worse when Valentine’s Day arrived a week after to remind me of my singleness and heartbreak.
Amidst all of that, one of my professors, who had heard bits and pieces of the story, prompted me to write one of our creative essays on that disastrous formal and how much it made me hate Valentine’s Day. At first, I was extremely hesitant about it, but as soon as I started writing and pouring my heart onto the pages, I could feel some sort of weight getting off my shoulders and made me fully process all the feelings I had head-on.
When it was time to get my professor’s feedback on the essay, I was surprised by a story of her own. She recounted her own experience of dating someone during her college years who wasn't right for her and didn't treat her well, all because she feared being the “only one alone.” She then challenged me to spend at least the rest of that semester single. No dates, no crushes, no distractions, just focused on what college could be and bring without even thinking about any of that.
At first, I was a little skeptical of her advice, I couldn't help but wonder how staying single for the rest of the semester could improve my life. It seemed counterintuitive, especially considering how everyone around me seemed to have found their happily-ever-after relationship which, according to them, was the best thing that had happened to them.
Yet, I decided to take on the challenge and let go of the pressure of finding the love I didn’t have. It was a chance to appreciate all the love I already had in my life. The late-night trips to Five Guys with friends, the post-milkshake mass conversations, the training trips and the sing-along episodes of “Glee” with my roommates were all moments that I, as a glass-half-full kind of person, didn’t give that much thought to.
Now, a whole year after the incident, I see singleness and Valentine’s Day in a new light. It’s not that much about feeling alone or that I am in any way incapable of finding romance, but rather of appreciating the part of my life I am at and the relationships I have.
So to all my fellow singles out there, I urge you to embrace your singleness. Take this time to focus on creating memories and building meaningful connections. You're not alone and the right person will come along when the time is right.
Lara is a member of the class of 2026 from Taubaté, Brazil with majors in economics and Chinese. When she is not complaining about the weather, you can find her studying in a random room of O'Shaughnessy with her friends or spending all her flex points in Garbanzo. You can contact Lara by email at lvictor@nd.edu.
