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Moments of Notre Dame

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Notre Dame experience, not unlike life itself, can be summed up by a series of individual moments. The first moment comes on a Saturday afternoon in December. Around noon. I know the time because I had already been waiting for hours. When the mail clanked through the slot, I bolted to the door, grabbed the pile and clambered up the stairs. In utter disbelief, I read my Notre Dame acceptance packet: "Welcome home." It was the first and only time in my life that I have cried of happiness. I can still remember this moment perfectly. The moment my childhood obsession became a reality, the moment I started to fall in love with Notre Dame. Eight months later, I arrived on campus wearing the rose-colored glasses that characterize the honeymoon phase of any new relationship. I pinched myself when walking past the Dome on the way to class. The Notre Dame monogrammed waffles in the dining hall were the best thing I'd ever tasted and certainly were not going to make me gain the Freshman 15. And by my first football game in the student section ... forget about it, I was officially in love. I coasted through the rest of freshman year and made it through my first "long-distance" summer. But I soon found the honeymoon phase fading until there were moments I felt disillusioned with my beloved Notre Dame. I discovered a Notre Dame that maintained appearances to the outside world while ignoring the needs of its family. I discovered a Notre Dame that was a slave to Catholic doctrine instead of thinking for itself and leading by example. I discovered a Notre Dame that had inconsistent policies with inconsistent consequences. Did these bureaucratic failings define the university I had fallen in love with? Ultimately, I only needed one moment to answer that question. I found it when I was covering the memorial Mass for our classmate, Declan Sullivan, for The Observer. Shortly after Communion, I slipped out the side door to find at least a thousand students - most of whom had never met Declan - huddled together on that chilly, autumn night. In that moment, the sea of flickering candles seemed to go on forever. In that moment, strangers became family. In that moment, I swear I could feel Declan smiling. Words fail to do it justice. It was the single most moving moment of my life. And it was also the moment I realized that it is the people - not the Catholic Church, the administration or even the University president - that truly define Notre Dame. Since then, there have been many smaller moments that have allowed me to fall deeper in love with Notre Dame, flaws and all. The nights when the Grotto absorbed my anxiety and grief, and gave me its serenity in exchange. When I was in a bad mood and someone held the door open for me going into LaFun. Late nights in The Observer office when we were all delirious, but Deb's candy made it okay. The support of my rector when I lost faith in the administration. The magic of singing the alma mater. Most of all, I have loved the countless moments I've spent with my friends here. Those moments spent laughing, dancing, "hoping," making up nicknames for people we don't know, seeing how loudly we can talk before Christina hears, eating, eating and more eating. The precious moments that helped a motley crew come together to make the perfect family. Come Sunday, I'll add one last moment to the list - the moment I receive my Notre Dame diploma. And in that moment, I expect I'll have only one thought: Faithfully and unequivocally, love thee Notre Dame.

The Observer

Diploma? Don't need it

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 15, 2012

For the last 12 years, whenever I walked down the stairs at home, I passed a Notre Dame diploma. In 2003, that one increased to two, and eventually a third was added. I always had trouble believing I would complete the set of four. I'm still not entirely convinced. But even if I have failed at that task, today is here nonetheless, and as is said, how quickly does today turn into yesterday. Once today is yesterday, we will no longer be part of the elite group known as Notre Dame undergraduates. Instead, we will be part of the much larger population of Notre Dame alumni. Supposedly, Notre Dame alums are an illustrious bunch. For years, we have heard about the networking, the clubs and the Alumni Association itself. By Sunday afternoon, we will be a part of it all. In that respect, as we scatter around the country and the globe, we will still have common ties. But do we not have those anyways? To draw an extreme example, if I don't receive a diploma this weekend, would that truly separate me from my 2,000 classmates? Sure, I wouldn't be in the football ticket lottery and my class ring would be even more obnoxious than it was originally, but are these the things we came to Notre Dame for? We came for a thorough, well-rounded education. The University-required classes assured the well-rounded factor, and each of our majors was plenty thorough. We came for good times. Finny's, Kildare's and Brothers treated us well. As did the Bahamas, the Dominican Republic and Costa Rica. Let's forget not about the lovely weather, the dining hall holidays and, sincerely, the marshmallow fight. We came for faith. Dorm masses have laid a foundation. Campus-wide masses have brought us together, both in celebration and in sorrow. The Grotto has welcomed us at all hours. Our faith has developed, even when we did not realize it. We came for football. Well, this is awkward. Maybe we didn't win as many games as we wanted, but we did have sprinklers and snowballs, a rain delay and a night game. We came for friends. And we leave better in that regard than we could have ever imagined. We've found best men and maids of honor. We've found roommates who may as well be brothers or sisters. We've found classmates and co-workers who hold those titles in name only - they are so much more. So, with apologies to the Alumni Association and all the good it does, joining my brothers as alums does not thrill me much. Rather, I'll remember my undergraduate days. I did not come to Notre Dame for a diploma. I came to Notre Dame for knowledge and know-how, faith and football and, most importantly, life-long friends. And I got them. Thank you to my 2,000 classmates, not to mention predecessors, professors and Observer staffers, for helping me along the way. Oh, and don't worry Mom. I am getting a diploma tomorrow, and yes, you can hang it with the others.

The Observer

Clichés we love

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Going into college four years ago, people tried to prepare me with a series of clichés. "These will be the best four years of life. The people you meet will change your life. Football Saturday is like nothing you've ever seen before. You will remember that late-night walk you took with your best friend more than that test you didn't study for enough. You will grow up and find yourself. These four years will fly by." As it turns out, most of these clichés are correct. And while we never want our life to be a cliché, college might just be meant to be that way. Clichés are based on a frequency of expression, after all. Like that last one - these four years will fly by. Notre Dame has only been four out of 22 years of my life. But I feel like I've been here forever. Frosh-O seems a lifetime ago, but I still reminisce with my Dome Dance date about walking to the JACC together. And I will always remember meeting my best friends at the Keenan freshman dance. My time at Notre Dame has been a blur, but I feel like I've never known anything else. I struggled to master the words to every football cheer and now I can do them in my sleep - and have, I'm sure. These four years under the Dome will amount to only a small percentage of my life, but Notre Dame will always be my home. I will remember the challenges and the triumphs, football wins and football losses, mozzarella sticks in the dining hall and steak sandwiches at Pole 13, late nights studying in the library and late nights working away at The Observer, finding a whole new world as a freshman on campus and finding a whole new world studying abroad in London, Muddy Sunday, first Feve, never winning at trivia, Thursday Jersday and Kamen 11. And it's all been because of you, Notre Dame. Thank you to my friends who've made even a night at Sbarro fun, to my classmates and professors who have given me the best education in the world, to my Observer family and my London family, to tailgate friends, Finny's friends, football friends, Pangborn friends, Cavanaugh friends, DPAC friends, library friends and to every friend who has made these four years so great. To my family. This weekend really is that time of lasts we've been fearing, but as I look towards it, I am just as excited as I am sad. I may be blubbering like a small child come graduation Sunday, but I feel ready for the next step in life, and that is the greatest gift Notre Dame could have ever given me. Life may never feel this safe and, well, not easy, but simple and easy to navigate again. But these four years, inside and outside the classroom, have been the best preparation in the world. I graduate Sunday with my peers, who I know will change the world in profound ways, because they are a miraculous group of people. We may always wish we could relive our college years, but we are all ready for even more. To you, the class of 2012. It's been real. And hey, after graduation, why don't you call me maybe.

The Observer

We are a family

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Editor's Note: To view the complete list of 1,700 signatures, please visit The Observer's website at ndsmcobserver.com

The Observer

Summer is for home-town sports

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Maybe we shouldn't think about it, but we have only one week and two days until freedom. Despite the chaotic nature of a closing semester and the inevitable stress of finals, I find it hard to prevent my mind from wandering towards the approaching bliss. With no class or homework in sight after next Friday, I have already begun planning how I will spend my few free weeks in May before my summer schedule starts. The more I have thought about it, the more I realized exactly what I will be doing with my time and what I missed during this busy year: watching sports. Before entering my freshman year of college, I did not fully comprehend how busy life at Notre Dame really is. Between classes, homework, activities and a social life (forget about sleep), I found little to no time to watch my hometown teams compete. Add on the fact that I originate from out-of-state - southeastern Wisconsin to be exact - and it is next to impossible to find my team on television when I do have free time. Thankfully, with the Packers' successful regular season, my team appeared on national television more frequently than most. But even though I was better off than say, Redskins or Jaguars fans, I still found it difficult to watch an entire game on the designated "homework day" of a football weekend. Compared to the Pack, even more difficulties have emerged with my Brewers.Except when they play (and beat) the Cubs, the Brew Crew is hardly on television. Thus, I must resign to checking the box score online or watching the mind-numbing MLB Gamecast online. For example, on a rare free night, I went online and discovered the Brewers were tied with the Dodgers in the eighth inning. With nothing else to do, I searched frantically for an avenue to watch the conclusion of the close game, but to no avail. South Bend lies just out of reach of the Milwaukee-based radio station, which also restricts online broadcasts for baseball games. I was also unwilling pay the steep $120 price to watch the game - as well as the entire baseball season - on MLB.tv. With the game headed to extra innings, I even stooped so low as to text a friend and ask to Skype in order to watch the game. Yet, I failed to uncover a solution and was stuck watching the MLB Gamecast as Nyjer Morgan, who just stole second and third and scored the winning run. It was a close play at the plate off a Ryan Braun sacrifice fly. Moments later, the same friend I texted hoping to Skype responded with a celebratory, "Go Brewers!" Of course, although I follow my hometown teams less closely, I have developed a greater pride in Notre Dame sports. Whether it's football, basketball or hockey, this year has provided some remarkable times to be a Notre Dame fan. This at least helps lessen the difficulties associated with living out of touch with hometown teams. In the end, I am looking forward to the rapidly approaching opportunity to kick back on the couch at home and watch the Brewers recover from their early-season struggles. When Ryan Braun hits a walk-off home run, I will finally be the one shouting "Go Brewers!"  

The Observer

We are all responsible

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Dear Members of the Notre Dame Community: On Feb. 24, Father Thomas Doyle, Dr. Don Pope-Davis and Notre Dame senior Brittany Suggs wrote to inform you about two deplorable and intolerable incidents in which fried chicken parts were left in the mailboxes of the Black Students Association and the African Students Association. I am writing to update you since that letter. Since these incidents were reported and investigated, numerous activities - reflecting a collaborative interest in addressing the presence of discriminatory harassment, bigotry and cultural insensitivity - have occurred involving students, faculty and staff. Student leaders of both affected organizations, along with Student Government, hosted a Call to Action town hall meeting. In the weeks that followed, there have been classroom discussions, meetings among minority and majority student-run organizations, meetings of students with Student Affairs staff and other campus leaders, a prayer service for unity and the formation of various coalitions. These gatherings yielded open and honest discussions about experiences had by people of color in our campus community. The stories that were told were revealing and sobering - sometimes painful for the speaker to re-tell - but they were also informative. We gained important feedback that various members of the University administration and students have already used, and will continue to use in examining, informing and modifying our policies and practices. One of the coalitions formed, the Plan of Action committee - which includes student leaders as well as faculty and staff volunteers - has been actively engaged in this process. Other groups and departments have also shared interest in positively impacting our campus climate and are working toward that end. Looking to the future, we are committed to collaborating in building on these efforts to eliminate the occurrence of discriminatory harassment and prejudice and to improve the Notre Dame experience for all members of our community. In my newly created position as Chief Diversity Officer and Advisor to the President, Fr. Jenkins has asked me to help coordinate the University's work with students, faculty and staff to move Notre Dame toward a more inclusive campus climate. Together with the Office of the President, the Office of Student Affairs, the Office of the Provost and other campus units, we will work with students to develop constructive strategies that address the problems revealed by these incidents. We - as departments and individuals, in classrooms and residence halls, across the range of our racial and ethnic backgrounds - are all responsible for creating an inclusive campus. Specific initiatives have been and will continue to be considered in coming months. We will communicate them to the Notre Dame community as they are developed in detail. At Notre Dame, an issue like this is important and relevant not only to members of our Black community and to others of color. It affects us all. Indeed, we are all responsible for actively preventing future occurrences and creating a campus where diverse backgrounds and perspectives are embraced, nurtured and celebrated. These incidents provide an opportunity for each of us to reflect on how we can be more thoughtful and loving in what we say and do, contributing to the formation of a more accepting university community. In essence, this is at the heart of our Catholic Mission. In more direct terms, if you are the victim of discriminatory harassment on our campus, please report it through the appropriate channels (http://www.nd.edu/~equity/discriminatory_harassment/DiscriminatoryHarassmentProcedures.shtml) and if needed, seek support. If you are an employee of the University who receives or otherwise handles reports of harassment, you should demonstrate compassion and empathy as you work to expeditiously handle the report. If you receive or witness an intolerant remark or act, consider finding a way - as difficult and unexpected as it may be - to tell the person that the behavior is inappropriate. Do so only if you feel safe. And if you are someone who is intolerant or insensitive in your conduct, consider how hurtful you are to us all. Acts of harassment, in whatever form, are completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Our faith calls us to stand together in opposition to the hatred of racism wherever it may exist, be it on our campus or in society at large. We must live lives dedicated to the celebration of our differences, teaching these qualities to others through our actions. By being both examples and ministers of love and inclusion, we can effectively combat the types of bias and insensitivity recently made apparent on our campus. Sincerely, Dr. Frances L. Shavers staff Chief Diversity Officer April 30

The Observer

Health care as a human right

By The Observer · Tuesday, May 1, 2012

In a public letter to Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, President John Jenkins wrote against a federal policy that would classify Notre Dame as an employer obligated to provide contraception to its employees. Fr. Jenkins argued that Notre Dame deserves an exemption out of respect for its religious standards, for "this [proposed federal policy] would compel Notre Dame to either pay for contraception and sterilization in violation of the Church's moral teaching, or to discontinue our employee and student health care plans in violation of the Church's social teaching. It is an impossible position." This argument claims that as a Catholic university Notre Dame has a religious obligation to provide for the health care access of its employees and students. The well-established Catholic social doctrine that health care is "an inalienable human right," as Pope Benedict XVI recently described it, is protected at Notre Dame via group health insurance and provided at reasonable cost. From Fr. Jenkins' letter, it would seem that Notre Dame provides for its community in adherence to the 'Church's social teaching.' This appearance is further promoted both by portraying the University as a "healing force" in banners around campus, and by nationally televised commercials identifying Notre Dame with the conviction that "first rate medical care is a fundamental right for every person." But this appearance is false. A group of concerned students and staff recently finished a survey at University Village, the on-campus residence for married students. We found that 28 percent of student spouses reported having no insurance at all. The survey also discovered a quarter of families described one or more of their children as uninsured. These uninsured children also belong to international students, who as non-citizens do not qualify for state-provided coverage. Also worth mention are women who become pregnant while on the state plan; their comprehensive coverage is lost and for one year they have coverage for pregnancy only, without insurance for any other medical cost. How is it possible that the University could violate the very principle it projects as distinctive to its public witness of faith? In many meetings with various members of the administration, it is often claimed that provision of affordable insurance coverage to student families would be prohibitively expensive. These budget forecasts are flawed. They assume all student spouses and all student children require subsidies. But as noted above, only a percentage are currently uninsured. The costs of providing affordable health care to those who need it on a means-tested basis would be substantially less than the administration projects. Yet, admittedly this remains an expense, one to be made from discretionary funds, because the University has not mobilized donor support for student families. Are other recent discretionary expenses made by the University as necessary as medical care for each person at Notre Dame? Reports from the Chicago Tribune, public policy sites like foundationcenter.org and various committees of the University analyzed recent discretionary dollar outlays at Notre Dame and found they cost more annually than health insurance. These expenses include doubling and tripling compensation for some Notre Dame administrators since 2003, since some now rank at the very top for their positions on a national level. Other expenses include dozens of additional scholarships for non-revenue-producing varsity sports, begun in 2001 and graduate student tuition charged to the graduate school rather than to external research grants. Even further, the University sequesters funds for ballooning athletics' coaches compensation via an separate entity that absorbs revenue from national advertisers, rather than directing these monies to the University's General Fund, while advocating via the NCAA against caps on coaches' salaries. A bit of restraint in each of these areas would yield funds sufficient for every student child and spouse to access medical insurance affordably. Fr. Jenkins is correct to connect Notre Dame's mission to the Catholic principle that access to health care is a human right. And a proposal to provide student spouses and children entry to the new campus Wellness Center would be a welcome step. Yet, this would only provide student families access to very basic forms of care. By Fr. Jenkins' standard, the human right of access to health care is supported at the University via affordable health insurance. An inferior second standard that does not insure children and spouses would continue to expose these families to large health and financial risks. The teaching of the Church on health care as a human right is clear. But thus far, the administration has been agnostic to this teaching's consistent application at Notre Dame. By refusing to accept the relevance of the Church's social teaching and its own publicly proclaimed principles and postponing less pressing expenditures before necessary ones, the Trustees and the administration have isolated many from health care. The answer to the original question of Fr. Jenkins' letter, a question many Notre Dame families now pose, is unclear: by whose standard is Notre Dame a religious institution?

The Observer

My senior thesis on Star Wars

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

The undergraduate thesis might just be the ultimate form of self-inflicted punishment. Whether you're in the Honors program, a PLS major or just plain ambitious, interested and a little bit crazy, the undergraduate thesis is all on you, in both times hard and good. It seems like such a good idea at the beginning - 50 pages is nothing! That's, like, five 10 page papers, which I write all the time, thank you very much. I've got a whole year to do it, and that's one less class I have to take each semester. And then your bibliography gets bigger, your research more in-depth, your nights more sleepless. You start to wonder, "Was this really all worth it?" You will face many hardships on your way to writing that senior undergraduate thesis, and you will consider just laying it all down and giving up many times, but on that day you finally turn it in - well, you might never feel better. I know this from personal experience - this past Friday, I turned in 70 pages of blood, sweat and tears. It was cathartic, it was a relief, it was celebratory - and it was all worth it. It was worth it, not because I have 70 pages of academic insight to my name, but because I wrote my thesis on just about the coolest thing I could - "Star Wars." Yeah, all that writing was hard. But even at its worst, my thesis was about "Star Wars!" I spent countless hours reading about the most prolific movies of my childhood, the stories that inspired my young imagination and propelled to be a film major today. It was the closet to reading for fun that I've ever gotten in school. Thanks to my thesis, I also received funding to visit Skywalker Ranch in Marin County, Calif., to do research and conduct interviews. It may have been a working trip, but I've never had more fun doing work in my life. Writing 70 pages about "Star Wars" (and the many complexities behind the life of that franchise), it turns out, was pretty easy. I was a fan girl writing something I would have enjoyed reading myself and, unsurprisingly, that made the whole thing an ultimately enjoyable experience. So, don't let 20 or 50 or 70 pages scare you away from taking on something really challenging but really rewarding. But when you set your mind to it, choose a topic you're interested in. You will spend an entire year on it, no matter what you might think now, so settle in for that year with something you love. Be smart, be original and, most importantly, be you. Find your personal "Star Wars" and the pain and suffering will, as it turns out, be one of the most rewarding experiences of your academic career.

The Observer

A call for vocations

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

Editor's Note: The Observer is refraining from naming the author of this letter because of a concern for his personal safety away from Notre Dame. The Observer has verified the authenticity of the letter, as well as the legitimacy of the author's concern.

The Observer

Father Jenkins, this is not about an agenda'

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

Earlier this semester, I gave an interview to The Observer in which I shared intimate details of an attempted suicide during my freshman year. Frankly, I gave the interview hoping to bring light to the gravity of a situation about which the University has acted cowardly. I'm not referring just to depression and suicide on college campuses - though these are issues about which I remain very concerned - but rather to the condition of GLBTQ students at Notre Dame. And honestly, I also gave the interview in part to make good on my past failure to speak up in your office hours last semester. I'd applied multiple times for the chance to attend your office hours (which we all know are a limited, highly-selective affair), so you can imagine my happiness this past fall when I was notified of my successful application. I had fifteen minutes to sit with you and one other student in your office, so there was clearly not much time for meaningful dialogue between us. I, a cowardly fifth-year senior, shrunk from the opportunity to speak freely, though, as we ran through the usual exchanges and you eventually asked, "How has your time at Notre Dame been?" I don't question your genuine interest in student life, but instead of saying, "Good, but ...," I simply said, "Good." We shook hands a short while later and my guilt grew as you wished me good luck on my way out. "What waste of time," I thought. In failing to be honest in describing my time here, I failed to accurately pay witness to the reality some students face. I failed to give a voice to my peers. My response was a lie. I should have looked you in the eye and said, "It has been difficult, and here is why," because Father John, you need to understand what is at stake here. You and the administration cannot afford to make vacuous public statements of support and intent that are actually of no real substance. The University cannot continue to prioritize a desired public image over the welfare of its student body. Some of my fellow students are suffering the same feelings of isolation and depression that led me to make a dangerous decision four years ago. These students can barely trust their residence hall staff, much less a clergy person or someone on one of your administrative committees. Some of these women and men remain in the closet, and we may never know their identity. But I know how they feel because I was once one of them, and out of silent desperation I eventually tried to kill myself. I failed to do the right thing when I met with you, but I am graduating soon and cannot afford to waste any more time with empty words. What I and the student body need from you is the opportunity to make a significant change in the lives of Notre Dame's students, most especially those students who feel they are losing their tether to the world. So amend the non-discrimination clause. Officially recognize the student club. You and the administration must not contribute to a situation in which a student does not make it out of here alive, and I dread the day when my University springs to action too late, and only after a student takes their own life out of despair. Father John, this is not about an agenda - it is about people. Stand up to the political and derisive opposition, and rally your fellow University leaders. We can never stop trying to make life better for those present and future Notre Dame students to whom I so powerfully relate. I hope you can find the courage to do the right thing.

The Observer

In solidarity

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

While this letter was composed by nine students who happen to be members of the Core Council for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Questioning Students, we do not speak on behalf of the council itself, the faculty and administrators involved, or the other student leaders on the council. These are our personal opinions. We, as student leaders, would like to take this opportunity to share with the campus community our opinions regarding the University's recent decision to not add sexual orientation to the official non-discrimination clause and to weigh in on the impending decision concerning the club status of AllianceND. While we remain committed to serving on the Core Council because of the opportunity it provides to engage in dialogue with the administration regarding our concerns for the GLBTQ community, we want to emphasize that the Core Council alone is not sufficient to effectively change the atmosphere on Our Lady's campus toward GBLTQ individuals, nor is it capable of adequately serving the thousands of students, faculty and staff who are concerned with GLBTQ rights and inclusion. Those of us returning for the 2012 -2013 school year will continue to use our roles on the council to improve the climate on this campus for GLBTQ students. We want, however, to express our full support of the recognition of AllianceND for the coming school year and the inclusion of sexual orientation in the University's non-discrimination clause. It needs to get better on this campus. We believe that these changes are long overdue and have the potential to improve the atmosphere on this campus drastically for both GLBTQ and Ally members of the Notre Dame community. We want every student, staff and faculty member frustrated by the current climate to know that we stand with you in this struggle, and that we, as individuals, support you. In solidarity,

The Observer

Nine rules to live by in college

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

One of the absolutely worst quotes of all time is "college is the best years of your life." Every college student on the planet rolls their eyes because it's something the grown-up folk love to pass around like it's phenomenal counsel. It's just a terrible expression. Right off the bat, it indirectly reminds us that life doesn't get any better after college. Immediately afterwards, it instantly puts us students in this emotional indebtedness, like we need to owe reverence towards an experience that we've yet to have. As a graduating senior here at Notre Dame, rich with the experiences of our campus, it's my duty to take the reigns of our forefathers and join the monotony of alumni banter. However, I refuse to tell you that college is the best years of your life. For your sake, I hope it's not. We can't settle with this four-year experience as being the most dynamic, exciting periods of our lives, because it means our aggressive risk-taking and belligerent socializing meant nothing for our future. Our adult lives cannot become torpid shadows of our four-year lifestyle, where passions from college fade away by the rhythmic droning of mediocrity. We can't settle for alumni dinners as our only reminder of a life in which we fully lived. While college shouldn't be the best years of our lives, it is arguably the most important years of our lives. It's an environment that's so unlike anything else in life. Here, we're forced to understand everything about ourselves. We discover how we learn, the ways we think and the philosophies that make us tick. College is a place where, for the first time ever, we are truly accountable to ourselves. There are thousands of moments that each of us experience here - both beautiful and tragic ­- where success is measured not by the quality of the journey, but by actually having these experiences. To celebrate the gift of life, we must be willing to experience everything that comes with it. There are so many things I've learned from my time here at Notre Dame. Instead of taking up more newspaper real estate, I'm going to share the top nine rules that I learned from college. It's my sincere hope that these will help the most important years of your life become legendary. Rule No. 1: Don't be logical about your major. Follow your passions and pursue something that you love to do. The worst thing you can do with your parent's hard-earned money is to invest it in something that you're not passionate about because it looks employable. Don't ever sacrifice intellectual satisfaction in the name of job uncertainty. Rule No. 2: Don't let schooling get in the way of your education. If I had listened to my professors, I'd be an A student and completely unhappy. Instead, I've learned far more than my courses have allowed and love life, because I spent time learning rather than mastering intricacies of an antiquating school system. You can't teach how to be passionate in a class curriculum. Don't expect to learn it there. Rule No. 3: Manage your homework and your course load incredibly well. The amount of things you have on your plate will never subside, ever. Develop the tools now to tackle the things that get in the way of living. Rule No. 4: Don't waste all of your time partying. Don't get me wrong; I love the rage. But, there's far more to life than getting drunk when it's accessible. Grab a camera, get on a bike and experience, even if it means doing it alone. Rule No. 5: This comes from a Wall Street Journal Article ("10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You," April 28): "Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing." Despite what you'd like to believe, your parents might be purposefully limiting you. With so much risk in the world, can you blame them? To settle for a riskless, safe life is to settle for a life not lived. Rule No. 6: Contrary to what we're taught, the most powerful word in the dictionary is not yes, but rather, no. Focus is an unbelievably valuable commodity. To have the discipline and strength to turn down exciting opportunities is something that will make your life more fulfilling and less scattered. Rule No. 7: Most of life's problems can be solved with good sleep, waking up early and eating breakfast. The Denver Omelet is the gold standard of this lesson. Rule # 8: Discover what it is that you live for. Everyone has it. If you haven't found it, you haven't tried hard enough to find it. And when you find it, you'll know. Take time to find it, because nobody else will. Nor will they give you permission to do so. Rule No. 9: Do crazy things and believe in something. When you're 65 years old, you're not going to care about how well you played the rules. What you're going to care about is how you stood up for an idea, a movement, something that resonates with you and that you're better because of it. One of the greatest things in the world is to truly own your own beliefs.

The Observer

Never alone

By The Observer · Monday, April 30, 2012

Consider the rock star, politician, superhero, genius, prodigy and celebrity at the apex of their fame. Fans clamor, fight, squeal and foam, hoping for a chance to be close to the object of celebration. The multitude continuously validates the celebrity - book signings, trans-continental tours, award ceremonies, collaborations, presidential dinners, photo-op handshakes. One night she sends a Facebook friend request to an old fling, someone who understood her before the fame, pomp and fancy. For weeks she checks her account wait, wait, waiting for a response - electronic affirmation from someone who really matters-nothing ever comes. It's a strange condition, to be so surrounded, yet so distant from those who matter, and yet it's an ever-popular one. The social Internet promised us a flat world of friendship: a realm of decency, camaraderie and meaning. But what we have is quite different from that. And the profiles that represent our persons online are quite different from who we really are. If we assume that the modern Internet began with Google, we can put an age on it of 14 years. Based on that, anybody born after 1987 has spent the majority of her intelligent life surrounded by a web-centric culture. This generation doesn't know any different from what they have experienced and continue to experience. During the ages of much needed social experimentation and expansion, technological products have been released almost directly in sync. The social pressures of high school or college were alleviated with MySpace, Facebook or Twitter. Paradigms of mental development have been altered to include the social web. The thing is, people don't change much. That isn't to say individuals don't change, but the human race exists and reacts in ways very similar to our generational ancestors. Technology develops at an insane velocity. Only five years ago the first truly "smart" phone was released. It's been within this period that technology has forcibly inserted itself as an essential component of life. At first the benefits were simple: technology would allow people to connect with one another across vast physical distances in a short amount of time. But to establish connections, we were given the tools to create a web presence - a means of identifying ourselves online. Somewhere in the evolution of technology, the importance of those two flipped: our profiles began to say more than we actually did. Better than just saying who we were in real life, we were given the ability to alter our profiles to reflect whatever we wanted them to. We could also be selective or encompassing in who we interacted with. Profiles, posts, texting and whatnot let us present the image of who we want to be. We can edit out our inadequacies and shortcomings, we can skip the messy bits of face-to-face conversations, we can all become awesome beings totally in control of our lives. Dangerously, we begin to forget how fallible we are. Technology is fascinating and powerful. So is human interaction, and that's something a generation is increasingly forgetting. A connection is not a conversation. Being friends with someone on Facebook is not equitable to human interaction. Yet we thrive on these superficial connections. People take to Twitter or Facebook in the middle of the night in hopes of a chance to express and be recognized. People log into Facebook before they brush their teeth in the morning, before they have coffee, before they get dressed. There's a fascination in the voyeurism of exploring others lives. After all, if you're inspecting their projected life, wouldn't they be inspecting yours? Seldom do people have the opportunity to look at their social profiles and actually compare what's on the page with what's on their mind. A photo album of 300 pictures can reflect the atmosphere of a party, but reality proves you spent a night observing a party from behind a camera lens in hope of preserving it. As great as technology is, I challenge you to give up on it. Turn it off, shut it down, launch it to the moon, blow it to pieces. It's not that the Internet must be ruining your life, nobody is saying that. Rather, those born after 1987 haven't lived without technology, at least not of a long while. Quitting Facebook won't be enough. Quitting the Internet is a start. Henry David Thoreau would be proud. We expect more out of technology than we do out of each other, and that is a fundamental flaw. By leaving the internet behind, you will be forced to examine your interactions. And I suspect you will find more trust in those you care for, and those who care for you. Self-reflection requires intimacy and empathy, two things which cannot be found on a broadcast system to 1,000 of your best "friends." Maintaining your identity is exhausting; specifically when it's something you have to do twenty-four hours a day. Forget about fans, likes, views, comments, reblogs, @replies and everything. Forget about yourself for a bit, disconnect and live for a bit.

The Observer

Please let me be me

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

What is it about the human condition that will not allow us to affirm the development of others in the manner the Spirit has predetermined? It seems as though either we say nothing to encourage holistic, authentic development, or we cast negative aspersions on those who make the attempt. From a very early age, each of us has recognized that not everyone thinks, feels or reacts the same way. During this academic year, five individuals close to me suffered through the death of a parent. As I attended the homegoing services for these awe-inspiring individuals, it became evident that each family handled the grieving process differently. In fact, there is no "normal" way to grieve. This process is unique to each one of us, and this is okay. Some may need months, some years and others only a few days. The length of time one grieves is not an indication of the depth of love or commitment to their loved one. Everyone processes these emotions differently and we should offer them the grace needed for the Spirit to do His perfect work in their lives. Since taking on the role of interim director of the Gender Relations Center, I have enjoyed numerous conversations with students about many different types of relationships. Although there were some similarities, degrees of variance were ever present. In one of my past articles, I talked about the pressure and stress that Notre Dame women experience as they navigate their path to an impossible standard. Men on this campus feel the same stress and frustration around the issue of relationships. Last week a student (let's call him Robert) sought me out to discuss several issues related to fitting in at Notre Dame. Robert struck me as mature, thoughtful and open to the critical examination of his personal development into manhood. He treated women with great respect because this is what he learned from his family, and he always thought it was the right thing to do. His friendships with women were genuine, based on mutual interests and surrounded by great conversations. Robert seemed clear about who he was and comfortable with the "skin he was in." There is a certain social movement of relationship building on campus that I will call the "Notre Dame Relationship Combine" (NDRC). The "NDRC" has certain expectations, and quickly called into question not only Robert's perspective on dating, but also challenged his premise that women are more than objects for his physical and emotional pleasure. Some of Robert's friends not only labeled him with various character flaws, but they also brought into question his sexual orientation. His experience of Notre Dame is that he is no longer free to be himself. The assault of the "NDRC" was so assertive that Robert began to think that there were very few (if any) men on campus who valued women and relationships the way he did. He felt alone. Although a hard sell, I endeavored to inform him that there were many men like him on campus. These men, however, are part of the "Silent majority" (Jan. 29) that see the craziness, do their best to avoid the craziness, but refuse to call out the craziness for what it is - crazy. Until this happens, the "NDRC" will continue to be the most influential determinant of relationship quality on this campus and men like Robert will continue to view their path to manhood as lonely and uncertain. So why is it important for the "NDRC" to denigrate those who are brave enough to place immediate gratification on hold, and to try to ignore the media's attempt to portray women (and men) as objects only good for personal pleasure? My hunch is that it relates to an old adage you may have heard before - misery loves company. Although Robert's friends gave him the impression that they had it all together, my experience tells me, that they lacked the maturity needed to pursue significant relationships based on mutual respect. They are having "fun," but are unfulfilled, so they want Robert to join them in their pursuit of immediate gratification, regardless of collateral damage. This way, "we're all in this together." It would be really nice if those ensconced in the "NDRC" would allow those who have taken a different path to do so without the belittling and derogatory comments. My hope has always been that our campus would be one where everyone desired authentic and mutually beneficial relationships, but I recognize that this may not be the case. This is particularly true, given the sundry attitudes with which students engage this transitional period of life. Some have bypassed the part of friendship that encourages others to be their best self, not just imitations of what everyone else claims to be. This is my message to the "NDRC" from those who are looking for relationships based on respect and the mystery of authentic human relating - please let me be me.

The Observer

For the administration

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

Dear Notre Dame Administration, I've thoroughly enjoyed being a tour guide this past year and having the privilege of showcasing the campus and academic life to prospective and admitted students. I've been thrilled to answer the questions of these individuals, as well as concerns or specific questions that have come from their parents. However, as other tour guides have told me, there will be that one tour you will always remember. Mine happened last week. The tour had two families of admitted students, plus one mother whose daughter was currently getting another tour of campus provided by her host student. At the end of the tour, this one mother stayed back to ask some questions that were concerning her daughter. The first question she asked was, "How is the LGBTQ community and how are they treated on campus?" I was at a loss. On one hand, a vast majority of my friends are in complete support of the inclusion and would love to see it happen. On the other hand, we have an administration that continually chooses to reject adding sexual orientation to the non-discrimination clause. What could I say? The mother continued by saying that her daughter (she never mentioned her daughter's orientation, nor was it my right to ask) was very concerned by the lack of a Gay-Straight Alliance or an official LGBTQ club, for she has friends who are members of the community and didn't think she would be comfortable on campus. After a while, we began to discuss the difference in generations on this issue, and how the current generation of college students (including those on this campus) are overwhelmingly supportive of equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation. Notre Dame, your attitude on this issue is starting to have serious effects. Students who you want to welcome into the family are turning away due to the uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding this issue. I have also heard from friends who work in the Phone Center that recent alumni are refusing to donate to the University because you won't add sexual orientation to the non-discrimination clause. Throughout the year, we have seen individuals write about how other Catholic colleges in the country (including Saint Mary's) have LGBTQ organizations. I could throw in official Church documents that state that we are all called to accept one another fully. But apparently, this doesn't work. Instead, I ask you this, Notre Dame administration: How would you have answered this mother's question? How would you respond to her concern over the lack of an official LGBTQ? What would you do if she discovered that you repeatedly turn down the request for club status and for adding sexual orientation to the clause? How would you respond?

The Observer

Please tell us why

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

The University recently announced that it will not be adding sexual orientation to the non-discrimination clause, and subsequently released the ways in which it hopes to "enhance support for gay and lesbian students." This press release claimed that it was responding to student concerns and needs. As an ally, I appreciate that the University has given some kind of response to the momentum built this year by the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual and questioning (LGBTQ) and ally community. These measures, however, are not enough. They are not the response for which students are asking ­- nay, pleading. If you cannot make sexual orientation part of the non-discrimination clause, and if you refuse to recognize a student-run gay-straight alliance (GSA), please recognize the efforts of the many students fighting and working for these issues on campus. The best way to recognize these efforts is to respond, publicly and explicitly, with the reasons why our requests continue to be denied. It has been many years since the University released an official statement detailing why they continue to believe that a GSA is unnecessary, or why sexual orientation does not belong in the non-discrimination clause. I am a practicing Catholic, I have studied the teaching, and I cannot find a doctrinal reason for this resistance. Are there alumni concerns? Would it negatively affect our endowment? Are there legal issues? These are questions in the minds of many students. While it would not be a replacement for the ultimate achievement of a recognized GSA and changing the non-discrimination clause, it would put my mind somewhat more at ease if the University would make a public statement telling us why. At this University, I am being taught to ask questions and make challenges. So this is my question. This is my challenge: Why? Why not? Respectfully and anxiously awaiting your response,

The Observer

A call to future parents

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

The fight for recognition, legitimacy and inclusion of LGBTQ students, faculty, and staff at the University of Notre Dame is a beautiful and powerfully necessary thing. This struggle seeks to improve the quality of life for students who don't necessarily feel a part of the Notre Dame family, or who have been purposefully ostracized by ignorance, discrimination and hate. Personally, however, this struggle represents and embodies the fight for every child who will ever look in the mirror and feel nothing but shame and fear. For every boy who doesn't understand why he is pushed into lockers, why people call him a "f*****." For every girl who is made fun of because she's a tomboy, or because she likes girls. For every person who goes through the terrifying struggle for gender identity, and for every person who has ever lost their life because they have been pushed over the edge by hate. No one should ever have to feel the need to harm themselves because people cannot find within them the humanity to say, "I love you, not just regardless of your sexuality, but with unconditional acceptance and recognition of all that is a part of you." This is a call to every Notre Dame student who ever plans on having children, adopting children or plans to work with children. Make your arms the first that your child will run to if they come home from school with stories about how they don't want to go to school because the kids are mean to them. Wrap your son in your arms, and tell him that it's alright that he wants to hold hands with another boy. Hold your daughter and explain that it's okay for her to like another girl. If your child struggles with their gender, be loving, accepting and create a space for them grow, mature and learn to love themselves. Don't be the parent who has to bury their child because you never thought that it would happen to you.

The Observer

Why I signed the letter

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

Since signing the letter denouncing Bishop Jenky's comparison of the Obama administration to Hitler - one of 154 Notre Dame faculty to sign - I have received e-mails calling me "shameful," "treacherous," and "without honor." I have been accused of trivializing abortion and betraying Catholic teachings. What follows is an edited version of a response I wrote to one of my critics, who wrote me after I was quoted in the South Bend Tribune. "The South Bend Tribune quoted me accurately. I was disappointed by the bishop's remarks. I thought they were divisive, ill-considered and historically absurd. You may believe President Obama deserves to be compared to Hitler. I do not, and I said so. Nor am I persuaded by those who argue that the bishop's remarks were quoted "out of context." These people state the bishop did not directly compare Obama to Hitler, but instead made a narrower argument about restrictions on religious freedom by citing relevant historical examples, including Hitler. The problem with the "out of context" defense is that it wants to invoke Hitler without being accountable for it. Hitler, in our culture, is both a historical figure and a concept, one representing the embodiment of evil. You cannot compare someone to Hitler and then note afterwards that you weren't referring to those parts of Hitler's legacy. Analogies to Hitler do not permit such nice distinctions. We do not parse Hitler. To invoke Hitler is to invoke all of it - the death camps and all the rest. There is no such thing in our culture as a "Hitler-not Hitler" analogy. However, my comments were not meant as a defense of abortion, as you suggested. Indeed, nothing I have said on this issue has addressed the questions of abortion, contraception, religious freedom, or the proper relationship of the U.S. Government to the Catholic Church. My comments in the South Bend Tribune concerned the language Bishop Jenky used to advance his arguments. I believe one can argue passionately about the most profound moral questions without demonizing others. "Hear the other side," St. Augustine said. In this instance, I think Bishop Jenky ignored that good advice. In recent days, I have heard from people telling me that legalized abortion in the U.S. is a grave moral crisis. I feel the urgency in their messages, and I respect it. But I am also concerned about a crisis of another kind: the crisis in public argument. I am concerned that public discourse today has become so toxic and debased that not only are we incapable of securing agreement on moral questions, we are not even able to agree on such basic things as the nature of a fact, or what constitutes empirical evidence, or what language is appropriate for characterizing those with whom we disagree. We argue ethical questions in terms of assertions and counter-assertions, and we hike up the volume on our personal speakers to the max. We do not listen, and what we hear we are unwilling to understand. You may think my concerns trivial compared to yours. After all, accepting your formulation for this discussion, what compares to 50 million murders? Nothing, really. But I would suggest to you that the crisis of public discourse is prior to almost all other moral crises, including yours. Because if we do not have a language that allows us to reason together, then all our moral crises, including the one about which you care so passionately, will simply continue without end. If you don't believe this, ask yourself what progress you have seen on the issue of abortion. Consider that since Roe v. Wade was passed in 1973, we have had five Republican presidents and three Democratic ones. In all the comings and goings of so-called "pro-life" and "pro-choice" presidents and other politicians, what fundamental changes have occurred? How satisfied are you with the sum of legislative accomplishment? How confident are you that the next election will bring about, at long last, the changes you so fervently desire? Our politics, I am trying to say, are crippled by an impoverished public language. And this impoverishment of language makes us a tribal people, each side in its territory, firing rhetorical rocket shells at one another. The blasts are emotionally satisfying, but the wars go on. If you think the only solution is the total destruction of the other side, then we part ways here. I am looking for a different way, and that's why I regard Bishop Jenky's remarks as unproductive and indeed offensive. The Bishop's language was a powerful blast but did nothing to end ongoing conflicts. That is why I signed the letter.

The Observer

College and self-deception

By The Observer · Sunday, April 29, 2012

Ten years from now, we will remember the college experience at Notre Dame as we remember our childhood. My childhood memories somehow represent a place where everything was ideal. Yet, the fact that I will never be able to relieve those memories creates this sense of nostalgia. When I was young, my life consisted of my family, friends and teachers, and the corner shop owners and their children. It was a perfect world. At the same time, when I look more deeply, my childhood had problems I consider petty as a grown up: The continuous battle over food and TV channels with my sister, all the toys and pets I wanted but my parents wouldn't get for me, neighborhood bullies and scary kindergarten teachers. Those are issues that made me sad as a child, even though I had very loving parents. But in the end, the feelings of sweetness precede the difficult memories. Thus, the memory became a sanctuary. Maybe that's why adults tend to idealize their college lives, just as we idealize our childhoods. My parents told me college was the one of the most carefree times of their lives, so I should enjoy it as much as possible. There seems to be a notion that college is supposed to be a perfect, happy place where your life only blossoms. Our lives do blossom, and I have enjoyed the past four years at Notre Dame. But I am noticing the negative sides of the college life are underestimated. Diversity issues at Notre Dame seem to be one such side. This year, the Notre Dame community lived in the delusion the situation for minority students was better than it actually was. The fried chicken incident happened, and other cases of discrimination were revealed through the Town Hall meeting and "Show Some Skin." Racism and discrimination are not just exceptional experiences of some minority students, but a stable part of the Notre Dame experience. Many students who are not a minority face different kinds of difficulties due to the homogenous culture at Notre Dame. Students who are in a minority, such as sexuality, religion, nationality, political identity or family background, have their own challenges. A friend of mine who hates the party scene at Notre Dame said he had a hard time his freshman and sophomore year finding the right group of friends, even though his roommates were "great guys." I have seen many of my friends suffer due to the discrepancy between the hard reality they faced in college and their preconceived idea of college. After a breakup, one of my friends said, "I think when I look back my senior life after graduation, I will only remember happy things. I guess [the fact I suffer now] is okay. I just need to go through this." Maybe in her case, it is good to detach yourself from the reality and try not to get too immersed in the situation. However, when the problem requires any action on your part, this kind of detachment is very dangerous, as it disables you from accurately assessing the reality. This year has been a tough year for the race relations. Many realized that somehow we have been deceiving ourselves with the sense of normalcy that everything was fine when it wasn't. Realization is the first step for advancement. Maybe when I graduate, I might end up remembering my times at Notre Dame mostly with nostalgia and happy memories. But the struggle will continue for those who continue to live in it.

The Observer

Yoga pants

By The Observer · Saturday, April 28, 2012

As Walsh Hall apparel commissioner, I have a duty to ensure the Wild Women look good. As a lifelong fashionista, I wanted to create fall and spring collections of loungewear that were comfortable, collegiate and classy, not oversized and obnoxious. Staples of this fall's order included a cardigan and a henley in classic colors with simple designs, both of which I purchased myself and wear proudly around campus. But when it came to introducing new items for spring, both our rector and the dorm's residents were vocal: they wanted yoga pants. Those who know me know I make it a point to dress up for class daily. I boast an eclectic wardrobe of varied styles, colors and patterns. But if there is one thing I will never wear, it's yoga pants. Not to revive last year's "Viewpoint-less" war, but yoga pants are glorified leggings. Just because they flare out at the bottom does not make them qualify as pants. Flare-legged pants have been out of style for years, so by that logic, it's better to just wear leggings as pants, but by no means is it good. I found myself in a dilemma. I could refuse to order the yoga pants, stand firm in my beliefs and deprive the Wild Women of what they wanted, or I could cave and get the pants, ignore my personal principles and please the girls in my dorm. As a future lawyer, I have to get used to this war between career responsibilities and inner convictions. Lawyers oftentimes have to choose between representing a questionable client and getting fired. Criminal defense lawyers in particular must be at peace with knowing most of their clients are guilty, but as professionals, they're required to do their best to procure the most favorable sentence for them and guarantee justice prevails. At Notre Dame, we're taught to follow our moral instincts and to uphold our Catholic code of ethics at all costs. When our careers clash with these tenets, we must hold true to our beliefs no matter what. The Church claims it does not have a hierarchy of dogma, but when it comes to shaping personal ethics, a ranking of priorities is vital. A good, moral person shouldn't defend someone who killed another in cold blood merely for the sport of it. But if I were asked to represent a kid guilty of theft who is genuinely repentant and brimming with potential, I can disregard, "Thou shalt not steal." Sometimes in life people have to do things they're not comfortable with for the sake of a greater good, and as long as these actions do not conflict with one's core ethical pillars, some dissonance is allowed. I realized my petty vendetta against yoga pants was not worth standing in the way of my friends' joy. In fact, I think those yoga pants will look fabulous on the strong, beautiful and ever classy Wild Women of Walsh, and not just because I designed them.

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