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Sunday, April 28, 2024
The Observer

Jersey chasers need a bye week

Several hours following the football game this weekend our friends sat and contemplated how a team so full of talent could lose to an abysmal Syracuse team; a team so bad that their coach had already been fired.

Some people might think it might be our coaching, and while this might be part of the problem, I still think there is an unremitting X-factor affecting the performance of our players. Later that night, we went to CJs Pub and it became painfully obvious what that X-factor was, positive reinforcement for a miserably pedestrian performance.

Don't get me wrong, we know the players were frustrated mourning their loss and combating low self esteem upon entering the bar. However, their dejection becomes pacified and inflated egos come roaring back when several of the most desirable girls that Notre Dame and St. Mary's have to offer are hanging all over them, while the proverbial Joe the plumbers of Notre Dame are anxiously scouring the establishment for a decent catch that is either too intoxicated to notice that you're not wearing a Notre Dame football sweatshirt, or doesn't realize that she too could be hanging off the jock strap of a player who has been warming the bench for the backup long snapper.

But I digress, we are asking the jersey chasing women of Notre Dame and St. Mary's, to take at least a week off when we lose to a team like Syracuse. This behavior is preposterous. I don't pet my dog when he takes a poop in my house. If someone is not performing to the level that they should, you do not reward their lack luster performance. Let them get angry as they strike out with you. You can even use clever rhyming comebacks to deter your unworthy suitors.

For example: Learn how to block and then I'll touch your 'sock.' Bring back the fire, and motivate them to play to their potential. It is simple psychology. Because let's face it ladies, what jersey would you rather chase, someone on a 6-5 Notre Dame team or a player on a future national championship team with Heisman consideration.

Plus, there are a lot of other cool jerseys out there. Fencing: awesome. Water Polo: sexy. Wrestling: need I say more? I have a Tony Romo jersey, maybe I would be wise to wear it out next weekend?

And lastly, feel free to hook up with Golden Tate, he tore it up this Saturday.

Ryan Shook and Shea McCarthy

juniors

off-campus

Nov. 24