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Sunday, April 28, 2024
The Observer

The one reject box of crayons

Being an English major and after writing for and working at The Observer for over three years now, I've essentially been trained to become increasingly aware to word choice and how it effects how you are perceived. Outside of the classroom, my experience doesn't come from interviews for a news article nor does it come from editing the wide variety of emails that are submitted to Viewpoint daily. Instead, mine has come from being one of the few female sports writers and living with my three roommates.

In my past three years, I've been impressed with how eloquently Dayne Crist speaks in an interview in comparison to Jimmy Clausen, how excited and confident women's volleyball and basketball players are when talking to a reporter, and how a football team can embrace a cause by wearing pink and openly speaking about the importance of raising funds for breast cancer research. All fun interviews, but they are nothing like the random quotes that come out of my intelligent roommates' mouths on a daily basis.

In my apartment, we have a door that we nicely refer to as the "Quote Door." It's actually our coat closet but the outside is covered with a preservation of our best one-liners to provide constant entertainment for ourselves and anyone else that walks through our door. The Quote Door is so nicely placed that you see it to your left as you walk through our entryway and can also have a clear view from the couch. It's a random collection that you can't get through a line without laughing, either at the outlandish statements that were made before one of us realized what we'd actually said or just at the ridiculous thoughts that pass through our minds. You probably will never get to read all of them unless you know the four of us, so I thought that a few of these quotes might do well to have their day in print.

But, a disclaimer: most of these weren't made late night at a party or a bar. We're really just that awesome. So here's a few: I like puppies and dolphins and horsies and fishies. I like aquatic animals; We are not that eatable!; It's ok guys, I wore my Pumas!; In the shower, I realized I lost my belly button ring. I think it's at the Backer.; I'd rather marry the ugly billionaire because he can always have plastic surgery."; I'm wearing my fat pants. Except they're my regular pants.; Guys, I can't get my fingers on.; I like to giggle when I pee.; The baby grapes freak me out.; We would all be the one reject box of crayons.

 

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.