As a genre, horror movies can be gimmicky, schlocky and cheap — all reasons why I love them. But the gimmicks are my favorite part. Every holiday under the sun has a horror movie. “Black Christmas” has been remade multiple times, “Leprechaun” is not only an insane movie, but the reason Jennifer Aniston is famous. There’s also the “ThanksKilling” franchise, but the less said about that the better. Even President’s Day has representation in films like “The Tripper” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” But President’s Day, with all due respect, is a second-tier February holiday. Horror films have definitely embraced the big day itself, Valentine’s Day. But did they do this well?
The most notable Valentine’s horror movie is “My Bloody Valentine,” released in 1981 and remade as “My Bloody Valentine 3D” in 2009. Now, based on the title, one might assume it’s a slasher-style film, where a killer pulls off elaborate, Valentine’s-themed murders. That is what I assumed when I started the film. Instead, it is a confusing film about condemned mine shafts, cannibal miners and the ethics of small-town capitalism. Valentine’s Day is purely incidental to the film, as the mine shaft in the film collapses on February 14th, and the killer gets particularly angry about that specific day. Change the date and the film loses its gimmick (plus a bit at the end where the killer shouts the film’s title at one of their victims). As far as Valentine’s-themed horror films, it’s not great. But, I cannot say I’ve seen a better film about a mine worker going crazy on Valentine’s Day. Also, Jensen Ackles from “Supernatural” is in the remake, so that’s worth something.
In the 1990’s, the “Scream” franchise revived the slasher sub-genre of horror, and re-emphasized the genre’s roots in the “whodunnit” storytelling technique that was first seen in the original “Friday the 13th” film. “Valentine,” released in 2001, is a direct result that franchise’s success. This film, like many horror classics before it, is about the perils of bullying. Opening on a scene set thirteen years before the rest of the film, we see a bunch of middle schoolers bully a lonely boy at a Valentine’s Day dance. Thirteen years later, the people who attended that dance start being murdered by a killer in a cupid mask. Like all good mysteries, this film has plenty of twists and red herrings, but unlike those aforementioned good mysteries, they are pretty transparent if not extremely confusing. The mystery’s solution is quite clear and obvious even from the start, but the movie doesn't quite want you to think that, even up to the very end. However, the film was well received at the time, with three Teen Choice Award nominations. Before you say that isn’t worth anything, how many Teen Choice Award nominations do you have?
These are films about Valentine’s Day, but what is Valentine’s Day about? Love, and there are plenty of horror films where love plays a factor. The funniest choice for this tangent is “Bride of Chucky,” so I’m talking about “Bride of Chucky.” The fourth film in the “Child’s Play” or “Chucky” film franchise, and the first to feature the character’s name in the title, the movie introduces the killer doll’s love interest, Tiffany Valentine. See, I tied it back together! Played by Jennifer Tilly, Tiffany and Chucky have great chemistry, made more impressive by the stunning animatronics work and puppetry employed on set. “Bride of Chucky” is a rom-com disguised as a horror movie, once you get past the horror movie blood and guts. If you are really adamant about watching a Valentine’s Day horror movie, this is my best recommendation.
Horror movies will always be based on holidays. That’s just a fact of the industry. But, in the future, if we’re going to make them based on Valentine’s Day, maybe we can aim to make them just a little bit better. Until then, we have “Bride of Chucky,” “My Bloody Valentine” and “Valentine” to keep us company.
