If you’re anything like the average college student, you probably enjoy a good Instagram doomscroll. Call it a guilty pleasure, but there’s something relaxing about mindlessly swiping through posts and seeing what other people our age are wearing, joking about and obsessed with lately. Still, half an hour and 50 reels later, it’s hard not to feel a little less than enough.
I love being a woman. In fact, womanhood is one of the greatest gifts in my life, and I know many other women who feel the same way. But it’s often difficult to reconcile the images of flawless makeup, a golden tan and the perfect body — all common features of women on social media — with most of the women in my life, much less the girl I see when I look in the mirror. Logically, we can tell ourselves these accounts are the results of filters, AI and cosmetic surgeries, but it doesn’t dispel the feelings of inferiority. Inside, many of us are asking ourselves, “How am I supposed to be a real woman?”
Honestly, it’s no wonder that women are more susceptible than men to mental health issues. According to a survey by FHE Health, 51% of women see their bodies as inferior to those on social media, compared to just 37% of men. We compare ourselves to fake women like it’s an Olympic sport, then wonder why we feel so hopeless and unfulfilled.
So then, if the images we see on social media are unrealistic representations of femininity, what does it mean to be a real woman?
A true woman is not identifiable only by her body, but also by her soul. Women are deeply empathetic and nurturing human beings. We appreciate beauty, find joy in life’s small details and are good at recognizing and interpreting emotions. Many of us also enjoy cultivating our appearances — from parading around in flouncy princess dresses as little girls to learning to do our hair, makeup and nails — and hobbies like painting, cooking, scrapbooking, sewing, gardening and planning social events with friends, regardless of our age. While certainly not universally applicable or exclusive to women, it seems all women have at least a few, if not more, of these traits. It’s interesting to me what all these qualities have in common: beauty. Not fake or contrived beauty, but true and natural beauty — beauty that is found in human emotion, appearance, art, nature and loving relationships with others. Fostering our natural feminine inclinations to amplify and add to the beauty in the world around us will similarly enhance our own inner beauty and is the first step towards embracing our own authentic womanhood.
Here at Notre Dame, we are fortunate enough to have the greatest example of authentic womanhood always watching over us. Just look up, and you’ll see Mary standing atop the Golden Dome with her arms outstretched, beckoning us to her and her son. Although she looks peaceful, we know Mary suffered much during her life. Despite her many struggles, however, she still managed to leave us with a perfect example of love, humility and service to others — a gift that has arguably cultivated some of the most beauty in the world. We would do well to rely on Mary in prayer and in example as we strive to embrace our femininity.
Recently, a trend has become popular in which women film a progression of their faces as they gradually remove their filters, makeup and elaborate hairdos. At the end, only their natural face and hair are left, and they look surprisingly … human. By highlighting the power of technology and cosmetics to drastically enhance a woman’s appearance and render her basically unrecognizable, these videos help women realize that obtaining perfection is unrealistic, no matter what they may see on social media. But, to me, the most wholesome part of the trend can be found in the comments sections under each video, where women frequently express their admiration and love for each other’s unfiltered, no makeup looks. This kind of unity among women in support of natural beauty is incredibly beautiful in itself. Love for each other’s God-given beauty, inside and out, is an attitude that needs to be normalized if we have any hope of encouraging women to be unapologetically and authentically themselves.
Noirin Dempsey is a freshman from Lake Geneva, Wisconsin currently living in McGlinn Hall. When she’s not studying English and journalism, she can usually be found playing piano in the McGlinn chapel, wandering the snack aisle at Trader Joe’s or watching the Chicago Bears lose football games. You can contact Noirin at ndempsey@nd.edu.
