The stark difference between the moral imperatives of dignity and respect

For me, there are two types of moral imperatives: those regarding dignity and those regarding respect. The former type is born out of kindness; the latter, out of duty. While dignity will uplift your humanity and those around you, respect has the capacity to turn into silent shackles to control you and forever inhibit your human potential. Thus, it is no coincidence that since before the moment we are born, we are tasked with an unjustifiable, unconscionable debt of respect. 

There is no greater evil, no greater failure to our humanity than to cede what you could have been for a debt that never was.

Let me be clear. Moral imperatives regarding dignity are intrinsic components of what makes you a morally good human being. They have the sole goal of leaving the world a better place than you found it, to recognize the inalienable, baseline human worth all others deserve. These are expressed in behaviors such as service, equity, occasionally love and, above all else, empathy. To commit oneself to the moral imperatives regarding dignity requires discomfort: They always come at a cost and it is paid for consciously. These acts are done by people who will go out of their way to do the right thing. At the time of their deaths, they will rest easy knowing someone, somewhere, has breathed easier because they were here.

On the other hand, moral imperatives regarding respect are extrinsic components that are not necessary to your goodness. They are arbitrary — handpicked based on your culture and external characteristics. They have more diverse goals, generally focusing on your social standing in relation to others. These are formal and forced, expressed in behaviors such as honor, reverence and paying tribute. It is how you succumb to authority, how you submit to institutions, how you incorporate into unnatural systems. Moral imperatives regarding respect, above all else, solidify your role in society. They give and take relative organizational power. They may very well result in a positive outcome, but notice how that is not the intention behind them. 

Moral imperatives regarding dignity are inclusive, universal and natural: they exacerbate one’s awareness with their humanity, and that of others. Moral imperatives regarding respect are exclusive, limited and artificial: They inhibit one’s consciousness and rely on social inertia. Both are assigned to us prior to our existence in the sheer fact of being interlinked with the rest of humankind, but only one is selfish and, at times, degrading in its demands. If dignity concerns how we affirm humanity, respect concerns how we preserve hierarchy.

Let us be candid. You are not born where you are by decree nor do you have a duty to said sporadic extension of land. Neither do your parents own you, as you will not own your children. There is no such thing as a fair commitment preceding birth. Not to your country’s traditions, not to your ancestors’ religions, not to your ethnicity’s or gender’s expectations or to anything else that is undoubtedly not you. You are not, and never have been, owed fealty to a chunk of cloth they make you call a flag or a slit of paper they make you call a dollar. Did you make the choice to come to be? No? Then why should others demand consequences for it? Such a deal was not carved into your skin — an irreversible pact of blood with the society that happened to adopt you. 

Who in the world do we think we are, charging the unborn with reparations for the crime of coming to be?

Though a baseline dignity for your fellow human being is indispensable, true respect is never owed — it should always be earned. Those who are older are not necessarily wiser. Those who are richer, not smarter. Those who are your superiors, not more deserving. The meritocratic myth is a veil employed to mellow your selfhood and is disrespectful to those who have genuinely tried with their whole souls in this unfair world. 

To nod along with these respect structures insultingly leads us to abandon who we could be. We let the narratives define the boundaries of our identity with hijacked authority, which in truth belongs to us. You see, the human heart is a pain to let free when we seek order, so we muzzle it. But is that how it should be? They thrust these ideas on you. They hope you absorb them and then are ignorant enough to pass them along without thought. And worst of all, they expect you to do so with blinding pride and glee. 

While you may indeed be linked in the chain of causation, a part of this moving world, you remain a free agent. You must forever remember to make your own choices by your own selected beliefs and desires. The world is structured to make you forget this absolute fact. Why, you are easiest to control that way. You are more like a cog — less like a human — that way.

Naturally, even though moral imperatives regarding dignity cannot be twisted for selfish gain, it is worth noting that those regarding respect can have their place when we approach them in the right way. I have the greatest respect imaginable for a handful of my teachers, family members and friends who have impacted my life in positive ways. But, this is a respect that has been born out of a true material influence and thoughtfully appointed by my own hands. Respect did not emerge from their title or position, but by the content of their character and the acts they carried out. They earned the respect, they did not expect or demand it. This is a high honor that should be given by your own volition — never assigned.

As you traverse the moral qualms of your life, what matters is that your decisions are yours alone. Think for yourself, question all authority and be a good person, not because someone told you to, but because you came to that conclusion. Not at your birth or before, but actively in the everyday, in this very moment. In truth, only you choose how to accrue your debt.