Last fall semester, my friends and I thought it would be a cool idea to try rock climbing. We had all climbed in various scenarios before, whether it was at summer camp or in gym class, always strapped into harnesses and supported by belayers. While the rock climbing club at Notre Dame offers time to practice on the vertical wall, we challenged ourselves to learn about bouldering. Bouldering is when you mount a much shorter wall, but instead of being harnessed up like a high-rise window washer, you're solely assisted by the crash pads laid out on the floor, patiently waiting for you to forfeit.
Between my lack of upper body strength and the complexity of some of the routes, I fell a lot. There were definitely moments of frustration every now and then, but most of the time, I would just laugh it off and let my friends have their turn. The reality is climbing was never something I intended to excel in, but rather a hobby I did with my friends simply as a way to hang out (literally and figuratively). We eventually became too caught up in other activities to stay in the club, but nonetheless, I only have good memories from it because I felt so carefree. Giving myself permission to be bad at the sport allowed me to have so much more fun than if I was trying to perfect the craft of indoor climbing.
Everyday I find myself surrounded by students striving for success in all different types of endeavors. Whether it’s academics, athletics or artistry, it is human nature to want to work hard at achieving big goals and preparing for the future, even at the expense of our own sanity. People across the globe are constantly reaching the top of their respective fields, none of which can be accomplished without dedicating yourself to hard work. In many scenarios this attitude is necessary, but in many others, it can become pretty paralyzing. Believing everything must be done flawlessly trickles into days where we just want to be still and enjoy life, sometimes making it impossible to do.
I noticed I actually possessed this mindset recently when I saw the wildly overused saying “your twenties are for making mistakes” neatly jotted down by a family member inside one of my birthday cards this past May. Before I started fresh and entered this brand new decade, I took some time to reflect on how patiently learning new things is difficult for me. I grew up playing nearly every sport under the sun, falling in and out of love with them sporadically. The minute I felt stressed out or not good enough, I would quit and it's something I honestly regret. I have no ill will towards the idea that maybe I could’ve gone far in one of them, but instead the mere fact that I stopped because the thought of failing got the best of me.
Even in moments where I am actively trying to relax, my mind will find ways to turn things into a perfection contest. Criticizing my own writing style, feeling embarrassed it takes me a month to finish reading one book, stressing out about curating the perfect wardrobe. These are all things other people could literally care less about, so why am I putting this intense pressure on myself to be great at them? When I know the outcome won’t be perfect, sometimes I’d rather just not do it at all. This fixed mindset isolates me from the freedom and the improvement which comes from not being good at something.
So whoever you are, wherever you may be, let me be the one to tell you to fail today. Sing out of tune in the car with your friends. Try out a hairstyle you’ve been afraid to wear. Mess around with pottery even if your piece falls apart. Pick up the instrument you haven’t touched in a while but used to love so much. Play a friendly game of football despite not understanding how the rules work. Follow a recipe from a cookbook when you know baking isn’t your strong suit. Attempt hot yoga even though you just might be the least flexible person on Earth. Run a mile knowing you’ll need to walk half of it. Let the ebbs and flows of life come at you and stop trying to act like you have it all together. Cut yourself some slack and live loudly. We only have one life and there’s no way we can succeed at everything. Let’s choose to do something for the joy of it and understand that you don’t have to be perfect. Nobody is.
Moira Quinn is a junior at Saint Mary's College studying communication. When she isn't writing for The Observer, she can be found with friends, watching a good romantic comedy or missing her basset hound.
Moira Quinn is a junior at Saint Mary's College studying communication. When she isn't writing for The Observer, she can be found with friends, watching a good romantic comedy or missing her basset hound.
